The Breach

The babies have just finished breakfast--oatmeal and fruit. I clean them up and set them on the floor to play while I clean up the breakfast mess. Avery has scoot-crawled (one knee under her in classic crawl mode while the other is out to the side so she can use her foot to propel herself forward) to the toy bins in the corner of the room. Ethan is chewing on a plush bear rattle.

I come over to play with the babies before nap time, but find as a draw closer that a foul odor permeates the air. It's Ethan. Holy stinky! Ethan and I discuss the stinkiness of his pants. He admonishes me for mocking this natural body function and I agree that I should not be so rude. All the while, I'm preparing him for diaper changing. I've laid him on the rug, placed a water-proof changing pad under his bum and grabbed the diaper change bucket. The diaper change bucket holds all of the necessary supplies for each of the babies--diapers, wipes, changing pads, sanitizer, and diaper creams.

I'm seated on the floor at the stinky end of the baby, left leg folded in front of me while the right is stretched out along side him. I pull his pants off and toss them to the side (still conversing about the natural process of moving one's bowels). I reach for the leg and my hand lands in something squishy. This draws my eyes away from Ethan's face to find that his left leg is green. I look over at the pants sitting on the rug and realize that the green is oozing out of them, as well. I move them to the wood floor, as this will be easier to clean. I use a dozen or more wipes to get him cleaned up. I pile all the clothes on the floor. Avery has decided that we must be having a lot of fun because mommy's saying things like, "wow", "oh man", "what on earth". She's come over to investigate. She tries to pull the changing pad out from under Ethan. I tell her "no", a word that has been used 200% more often in the past 3 days (since she learned the scoot-crawl).

Once Ethan is wiped down and in a clean diaper, I bag up the dirty clothes, put the changing pad in the laundry, double bag the diaper and wipes, clean up the floor and put clean clothes on him. I scrub my hands and return to the rug to read books to the babies, as it's now nap time. Then, I remember that I have to change Avery. Luckily, she's just wet. I put the babies to bed and come back downstairs.

I dump the dirty clothes in the toilet, while I sort my laundry in order to wash a full load. I get the whites in the washer, pour in the detergent, vinegar and lemon juice. The washer is set to "hot" and "heavy" (that makes me giggle). I return to the bathroom with rubber gloves and the "dirty" bucket (marked with X's, so that it is used for jobs such as this and not to wash baby toys). The clothes are rinsed and wrung and placed in the bucket. I'm pretty sure that I've gotten everything out, but can't see because the water is now green. The white onesie and socks go in the washer with the rest of the whites. I scrub my gloved hands in the kitchen sink, remove the gloves and scrub my hands. Now that all is clean and I've had my hands in water so long I have to use the bathroom. As I finish in the bathroom I cast a glance in the mirror and "what's that?" I've got poo smudged across the front of my fleece. Ugh!